New Orleans Crime Blotter

With NOLA Defender on the sidelines we’re wading into the void they left with our own crime reportage. Info garnered from NOPD and local media stalwarts The New Orleans Advocate.

Last night, December 23rd, a lady was accosted near her Gentilly home by a brigand in a red pickup truck. With nearby Winn Dixie offering whole hams for $6 the woman had taken advantage of the holiday sale only to be relieved of her groceries. The manhunt is ongoing for the ham thief.

The block in the Bywater that hosts Frady’s One Stop and Satsuma Cafe has been white hot of late. A friend of ours was mugged there two weeks ago and early, early this morning (3am) a trio of pedestrians were relieved of their phones and other belongings. Too prove his machismo, one of the ne’er–do–wells fired a shot in the air as he took to hoof. The manhunt is ongoing.

To avoid being mugged in the French Quarter we recommend stopping every 10 feet and whirling through the air til you’ve completed a 180. Packing heat all the while. You never know when somebody’s creeping up behind you. Yesterday morning (Friday Dec 23) a man showed up at Key’s Fuel Mart (respectable fried chicken available here btw) asking for help as he’d just been robbed, stabbed and beaten. He was sans wallet, shoes and cellphone.

Merry Christmas everybody.

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