As we speak, a team of fire-hardened Texas pit bosses are caravanning out of the Great State on their way to NYC for a barbecue pop up. Leading the charge, we imagine, is an ’89 Ford Econoline van filled with Texas Monthly scribes. Jason Cohen, dressed like Max from Hart To Hart is the wheelman; Pat Sharpe reclined, Caeser-like, on a queen-sized waterbed in the back as Daniel Vaughn drops chunks of outside slice brisket into her mouth; Prudence Mackintosh sitting Indian-leg style on a captain’s seat reading aloud from a tattered Flannery O’Connor novel.

“Fat Sammy’s the man!” she proclaims as Cohen tries to drown her out with a Chickasaw Mud Puppies bootleg cassette.

The side of the van is emblazoned with a lurid, Frank Frazetta-inspired painting of John Mueller riding Bevo into a Sonora sunset with Farrah Fawcett hanging on for all that’s holy.

Riding along hot and fast in big, tricked-out F-350 turbodiesels are Kent Black – Black’s Barbecue, Wayne Mueller – Louie Mueller Barbecue, and Nick Pencis – Stanley’s Famous Pit Barbecue.

Somewhere on New York’s northern border Daniel DeLaney, in a wig and sunglasses is beating a hasty retreat into Canada.

Southern aggression.

Got an extra $125 in your pocket?

Thursday, March 27 2014

6:30-9 p.m.

Hill Country Barbecue Market Brooklyn

345 Adams St, Brooklyn, NY 11201

There’s been much to do about New York City’s insurgent barbecue scene. A food writer from the city, we forget which one (they’re thick as fleas up that way) claimed that NYC is now the epicenter of barbecue in USA.

Of course that would come as a surprise to most folks in Texas who can’t imagine eating Lone Star state-caliber smoked meat in crime-ridden, frozen-over New York City.

Tomorrow night, a brace of Texas’ best pit bosses will get a chance to show and prove, and if push comes to shove we’re betting a few sets of brass knuckles probably made the trip along with the brisket.

Southern aggression.

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