The business lady is frayed. She’s just gotten off work and her world-weary self settles into the booth next to mine with a barely audible sigh. Pulling out her laptop she carefully scoots her buster parfait to the edge of the table. Acer defense mode engaged.

“Does Dairy Queen have wi fi?” I offer.

“Ain’t no wi fi in the ghetto!” a nearby gentleman proclaims. The business gal begs to differ and explains that indeed, Dairy Queen is a hip company that’s wise to the ways of the contemporary world. I’m contemplating my banana split and the path I walked down to get it.

“Would you like pecans on that?” the counter girl had inquired moments before. “They’re extra”

“Well,” I carefully count my change and indicate that I’m short

“I got you honey” she replies with a broad grin.

My junior banana split that I’d clipped a coupon for comes out of the kitchen a minute later and it’s morphed into a colossus.

“I said I got you!” the girl exclaims dying laughing.

I’m starting to really like the ghetto Dairy Queen.

For years the Rogge Lane {I’d love to know who the street’s named after} Manor Road area has been primarily famous for offering scarlet womenfolk and plentiful narcotics for would be buyers. Throw some shootings and stabbings into the mix and that’s why the man inside made his ghetto remark.

I always thought Dairy Queen was a Texas company but its origin is actually in Illinois. In small towns across the South the restaurant acts as a social hub where the old timers gather in the morning to read the paper and tell lies to one another. Used to be you’d walk in to a thick cloud of cigarette smoke and a crowd of pensioners jockeying for the sports pages. The scene still plays out the same just minus the tobacco.

Every now and then you run across an old timey Dairy Queen that hasn’t been modernized like this one in Mason Texas. These are my favorites. The new DQ style buildings and modernizations are bland, homogenous hat tips to lord knows what. In Austin I’m sure there are plenty Dairy Queens but it’s unlikely you’ll get the kind of friendly, sassy service as the ghetto Dairy Queen on Manor Road offers.

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