I’m really glad I don’t have easy access to Costco and its endless bounty of deliciousness. Perhaps once or twice a year, a friend of mine who pulls down serious bank in the computer sector spirits me past the highly suspicious bouncer/doorman and I begin loading up one of their Plymouth sized grocery carts before the staff catch on and the whole house of cards comes tumbling down. Outsider.
Once you’re in the door, it’s like the old Eddie Murphy sketch where he pancakes on some makeup to pass as a white guy, sallies forth and quickly discovers that everything is free…as long as no Black folks are around. That Costco card is like magic. With no heathen non-card holders to disrupt the flow, heavy cream’s 75% off, ribeyes are dirt cheap and 5 gallon jugs of detergent cost what you pay at Fiesta for a bottle that might last a week.
Then there’s the snack bar. It’s cash only but only nominally so. I ordered a slice of pizza before I realized I didn’t have any cash on me. “Oh don’t worry about it” the sunny reply from the clerk. “Go ahead, take it” I half expected it to be some sort of ruse and I’d quickly find myself on the bottom of a pile of security guards.
Once they reckon you’ve got the magic card you’re on easy street. Just like Eddie Murphy. Watch the old Murphy clip here http://www.snotr.com/video/422/Eddie_Murphy_goes_undercover it totally stood the test of time.