Wienerschnitzel Attacked In Austin Texas

Busted teens.

Reports are filtering into our desk of a bombing at the Wienerschnitzel restaurant on Braker Lane last night.

Two malcontents apparently raced into the restroom, left an explosive device, then circled the parking lot til their handiwork detonated, presumably scaring the living hell out of the people inside.

One minute you’re just trying to wolf down a cheap hot dog and get back to your evening’s affairs, the next minute you’re wondering if the terrorists are at the gate.

Arrested: Michael Zachary Foley, 19 years of age. Also arrested, a 17 year old accomplice who was not named by the police.

Der Wienerschnitzel [the chain mysteriously dropped the Der years ago but we prefer its use] is a California-based hot dog restaurant that kicked up quite a fuss when it came to Texas years ago. All the Cali-expats were up in arms that such a lauded native son had seen fit to open up on Texas soil.

Perhaps the general malaise of Austin life finally broke down the young mister Foley and his accomplice. Could the ennui of living in central Texas finally drive a pair of young men to this sort of deed? Mayhaps a vendetta against the hot dog vendor was realized last evening?

We’ll report back as events warrant.

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